~ Your monthly house payments exceed your monthly income (and you think it’s normal)

~ You drive next to a Rolls Royce and don’t notice it.

~ You don’t know anyone’s phone number unless you check your cell phone.

~You speak Spanish, but you’re not Mexican.

~ You begin to “lie” to your friends about how close you are when you know
darn well know that it’ll take you at least an hour to get there .

~ Getting anywhere from point A to point B, no matter what the distance, takes about “twenty minutes”.

~ You drive to your neighborhood block party.

~ In the “winter”, you can go to the beach and ski at Big Bear on the same day or mow your lawn in your shorts on New Years Day, and maybe get a sunburn.

~ If your destination is more than 5 minutes away on foot, you’re definitely driving.

~ Calling your neighbors requires knowing their area code.

~ You know what “In-’N-Out” is and feel bad for all the other states because they don’t have any.

~ Stop signs stand for, Slow To Observe Police.

~ You go to a tanning salon before going to the beach.

~ You eat pineapple on pizza.

~ Your cell phone has left a permanent impression on the side of your head.

~ You think that Venice is a beach.

~ The waitress asks if you’d like “carbs” in your meal.

~ You classify new people you meet by their Area Code. An “818″ would never date a “562″ and anyone from “323″ or “213″ is ghetto. Best area code: “714/626.” Nobody likes anyone from the “909/951″ because it stinks there.

~ You call 911 and they put you on hold.

~ You have a gym membership because it’s mandatory.

~ The gym is packed at 3 pm…on a workday.

~ You think you are better than the people who live “Over the Hill”. It
doesn’t matter which side of the hill you are currently residing, you are
just better than them, for whatever reason.

~ You know that if you drive two miles in any direction you will find a
McDonald’s, Subway or a Starbucks. (Do we have to go two miles for a
Starbucks?)

~ You know what “Sigalert”, “PCH”, and the “Five” mean.

~ You know the meaning behind the name of the 405 freeway…. because it takes 4 hours to get one way, and 5 hours to get back.

~ It’s barely sprinkling rain and there’s a report on every news station:
“STORM WATCH”.

~ The Terminator is your Governor.

~ You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends